


It was a memory

by brightsun_and_darkmidnight



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Amnesia, Coma, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-25 14:51:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20027623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightsun_and_darkmidnight/pseuds/brightsun_and_darkmidnight
Summary: Imagine Loki getting hit so hard it causes amnesia. You are by his side through everything. The coma. Him waking up. Sometimes feeding him and helping him dress. Realizing he has no idea who you are to him and knowing you still love him but don’t want to hurt anything by trying to remind him.  Then. Watching him fall completely in love with someone else. Imagine Thor trying to comfort you, during a night of you crying, that he will remember you soon. You’re response is, “I hope he doesn’t.” Just because he is so happy with that other person and it would be so confusing for him if he did remember everything before the coma. Also if he chose the other person willingly over you.





	It was a memory

You had hope.

But the tears still found the way to escape your eyes. Especially now when the doctors told you that he was in a coma.

"We are not sure if he will awake. I'm sorry."

You swallowed a sob.

That blow was meant for you.

Why? Why did he do it?

Thor was there and encased you in a hug, caging you in his arms. He knew all too well you would not cry in front of these strangers.

With his embrace you shook in his arms as silent tears spring from your eyes like a never ending geyser. Your mouth open in a silent scream. Surrounded in darkness and encased in a desperate hug of hope.

It killed you when the feeding tube was inserted. Months went by and Thor was somehow your rock even though it was his brother. Thor had know Loki all of his life, your few years were nothing.

Thor laughed as cheerful as he could, "Loki loves you more than anyone. You were certainly more intimate with him than I."

It got you to laugh. It was an odd sensation. Such an odd sound since this time it was sincere.

A real laugh.

And then your phone went off. The sound you so longed to hear. Loki's ringtone. You had set all of the hospital and Drs numbers with his lovely ringtone. You answered it with haste and an excited, "really?" Escaped. No exploded out of you.

And just like that word, you exploded out of the door with Thor close behind you.

Loki was showing signs of waking up.

You were in The room when his eyes fluttered open. The doctors close to the bed while you and Thor stood back a bit. They informed Loki of where he was and he was hit hard. They asked him questions about himself that you and Thor gave.

He was confused. He didn't remember anything.

Suddenly you and Thor were rushed out of the room. You both were told the obvious.

He had amnesia.

They told you to give it time and memories would come back. Spend time with him. Stay in the truth. Some information would be too much.

It tore your heart out to introduce yourself. Again.

But you were there.

Helping him eat. Dress. Helping him walk on legs that no longer held the strength they once did. Rebuilding that strength.

How it destroyed you when he learned of what he did to New York. His hands shook as he picked at them. His tears welled in his eyes.

"No wonder I'm alone. Who could… love me…" his voice cracked and so did your heart.

You touched his hand and he flinched away. "I know so many people who do. Loki. You were not yourself then and you did so well getting better."

"Everyone tells me I'm a God. Of mischief and lies. I probably faked my way into everyone's hearts." Loki scoffed, "that sounds like who I was."

"No you didn't. It was so real."

Loki growled, "God of mischief and lies."

Thor clapped a hand on your shoulder. "Go get yourself a coffee, Y/N."

You walked out as you hear Loki's voice crack once again. "I wish I could have something like what you have with her."

"I assure you. You have so much more."

Loki inhaled quickly and even behind the door you could imagine how he shook.

Then the Drs gave you and Thor the information, before Loki even knew himself, that he was going to be released.

With much argument Thor was made to take Loki.

Loki remembered Thor as his brother, but still nothing of you.

You walked him around on multiple occasions to all of his favorite stores and watched him fall in love with them all over again.

Then a woman introduced herself to Loki. Flirting and gave him her number.

He texted her frequently. Fell in love with her faster than her saying, "build a new life. With me~" and so many emojis that Loki still hated. But he loved the idea so much: to be loved by someone despite his past actions.

When he talked so excitedly about the idea of someone loving him. Since this mystery person you and Thor spoke so highly of wasn't showing who they were, he was going with this woman.

The last piece of your heart fell.

Thor started to try to reason with Loki the night he was going on a date with her. Trying to tell him it was a mistake that he knew who the person was that he loved with everything he had.

"I will give her everything I have now. That person you speak so highly of doesn't matter since they were so inclined to hide when I easily needed them the most" and Loki stormed out of area. You didn't see the tears he once she'd, not even a single tear behind those gorgeous eyes. His face just… Furious.

You felt Thor staring at you before he spoke, "we both know he didn't mean it."

You wailed as you fell. Thor catching you easily. It was such a routine anymore.

"Y/N. He will remember you."

"I hope he doesn't. For his sake. I just.. what if he did?" You looked at Thor before another sob racked your body.

"He would be happy with YOU."

"No." You looked away, "he would choose her anyway." You got up and said, "I'm done. No more talking about the 'mystery person' let me just be his friend." Thor tried to talk with you, grabbed you and it worked to make you face him. But you were beyond hurt as you pointed in his face and growled, "Not another word."

Thor let go of you and you let go of an idea of being with Loki romantically.

You tried to be there for him. Tried to support him in the relationship. However it was too much. The girl knew of everything Loki had and greedily took as much as he offered. A gift each time they had a date.

Each meeting was a date…

You found work else were.

Thor had a surprise visit to check on you and saw the letter of the acceptance to welcome you to a new housing community. States away.

Thor was furious. Hurt.

"This is madness. Y/N just tell him!"

You argued for a very long time with Thor until he stormed out into the terrible weather that surpassed an ordinary storm for the area you lived in.

After many days, maybe a week you finally answered Thor's call. You finally agreed to meet Thor for lunch at some new cafe that just opened. All you knew was the address. Thor promising an apology and wanted to talk about your new life you were going to start over a meal he was paying for. Well you were up for it.

You needed the company, the last few days were lonely without anyone to talk to.

You knew Thor's brilliant idea as soon as Loki said, "I have questions."

Loki was there not Thor.

It was Loki's idea. His mischief and lies showing thru as Thor was used as the Trojan horse.

Nausea washed over you as your heart thumped in your throat. You tried to talk your way out of walking into that building with him.

"Y/N. You had time for my brother to sit with him."

Oh no. That insecurity hidden by aggressiveness.

You looked him in the eye, and asked Loki a careful question. "What did he tell you?"

"Get a drink with me and I might tell you. After. You answer my questions."

You wanted. NEEDED that information.

The need to go pack was stronger. You turned.

"Loki I need to go. I'm sorry."

"To pack, right? You never run away. Why now?"

He was hurt. You heard it in his voice laced with fake venom.

Were these words just from what Thor said I did he…

You turned and asked slowly, "Do you remem…" His eyes were wet and glistening with the light from the sunset but his jaw was shoved forward as his chest moved with deep movements.

"My questions first."

You moved to the door after he growled. You got a booth and once you got your drinks he started to ask questions. So many.

Why; you didn't tell him, didn't even try, let him believe you were just a good friend.

You told him that you just didn't want to hurt anything.

"You let me fall in love with someone who used me!"

You assured him it seemed like she actually liked him. In the beginning anyway and when he wouldn't listen to any warning about her intentions he wouldn't listen.

"So what? You're just going to leave now?" Loki growled and you swore his whole hand turned white as his hand fisted.

You told him he was better than that terrible woman and he would be fine.

"Someone better than you?" Loki's eyes down casted but you saw the tear land among his untouched and cold coffee. The ripples reminding you just how rough the past year and a half had been.

"What did Thor tell you?"

"He told me enough." Loki turned his head to the side and wiped the tear trail away. "He then showed me the album I had made of you and I. I had him keep it in his room for a long time so I could give it to you."

You were beyond surprised. Loki making an album? Thor keeping that hidden for so long?

"I was planning on giving it to you as an engagement present since I knew you were sentimental instead of materialistic. Preferring that over a ring." He laughed briefly. He finally met your eyes, "you hated when I gave you gifts. At least unless it was this." And he pulled out a bar of your favorite chocolate..

Your tears welled and spilled out of your eyes. A laugh bubbling out of you.

"Yeah. It always put me in a better mood. Once you realized that you gave me a ridiculously priced item, THEN the chocolate."

Loki laughed with you sliding the chocolate across the table to you.

"How much do you remember Loki?"

"Not much honestly. But it's enough. When I… awoke and you helped me. I was already falling in love with you. You told me you were just a really close friend. Then the way Thor treated you I assumed… and then I didn't want to ruin anything for anyone so I kept my feelings for you locked away. I met that woman and felt hope that I could be loved even after my actions. It still didn't drench my feelings for you, no matter how much I invested in her."

You were speechless. The words stolen by that silver tongue. Even though you knew these were honest words and it was no trick.

"I don't remember much but I would love to hear stories of us from you. And make new ones."

His eyes held yours as his hands rested on the table. Between the two of you. Palms up and inviting.

You placed your hands in his with a small smile. "Our coffee has gone cold."

Something flashed in his eyes for a second and his face softened to a smile.

"As it always does when we talk, My Sweet Love."

Your name from him.

Then you realized what flashed before his eyes...

It was a memory.


End file.
